Thoughts,

I think as we grow older, we get sadder.
Not because we choose to be unhappy, not because we choose to allow everything to make us sad.
But because as we grow older, we know more things, we experience more things, we see more things, and we feel more things.

We can never go back to the days where we are innocent, happy, living life.
Now, we are all just trying to get by everyday the best we can and hoping someday we will start feeling alive again.

There are a lot of things that can change a person.
Friends, relationship, family, school, food, puberty, anything you can think of that made you who you are today.
Some change you for the better,
some just completely crash you and you know when you are okay again, you will never be the same anymore.

Lately, I found myself thinking a lot about my life.
I thought about what I want to be in my future.
I thought about the friendship I thought was unbreakable.
I thought about the mistakes I made in my life thus far,
I thought about the relationship I have now and how it was my safe haven when things went wrong,
I thought my past 18 years of my life,

And I realize, the things that used to make me really happy don'y anymore.
I spend more time thinking that just relaxing.
I spend more time staying awake then sleeping just to get things done,
I spend more time noticing the things in the society that made me sad,
I spend more time telling myself everything is going to be okay.
I spend more time trying to find more time.
I spend more time trying to feel and find the happiness or foolishness I once had,
But I realize I can never get it back anymore.

But I realize too above all else, I still have my family, boyfriend, my girls, God.
Above all else, I still have all these people who love me and believe me and stick with me when times are rough,
And that made everything okay,
Because I don't need a large group number of friends, I just need few true friends.
I don't even know if this is making sense or I am blabbering rubbish, but that shall be it for now, its time to get back on my law essay,