Day 39

So it's been a while since I updated my blog, so since I kind of have the time now, I will do it :P
Its kind of weird to say this because I imagine that people actually do read this, but in fact there is none, but nonetheless, I'm going to blog because it's a good hobby!

Okay, so moving on.
I'm currently studying for exams and I am already dying, I can't wait for exams to be over so I can stay at home, sleep until I wake up naturally and not jump out of bed because I remember I have something to do.

But I think I am so lazy rn to do anything except getting all the materials in my mind.
I shall post a detailed post after my exams!
Yes, I should do that.
Goodbye,

Remember?

Remembering all the good and sweet memories is what makes heartbreaking moment even worse that it already is.
Sometimes I really question myself so many many things.
Do I deserve everything I have in my life?

Do I deserve someone even after everything I have done?
Who is here to listen to me when I have so much to say but I can't?
Who is here to hold me and tell me its ok to feel frustrated?
Who is here to hold me when I get work up over things not people get worked up for?

Sometimes I really don't know.
Is it me that is not accepting people into my life?
Or is everyone asking so much out of me that I am trying to be who they want me to be and not who I am.
Or is all these just rubbish and I am just making all these up in my mind to make my own life miserable.
I just want to remember what it feels like.
I just want to remember.
But each time I feel like I am starting to remember, I fall back ten times further.

Tonight I just want to be alone.
How am I suppose to do my work and get my shit together when I keep crying every few minutes.